Being the adult I hoped for as a child myself has been one of my biggest drives as a parent. When Eva faced bullying at school I wanted to lose my shit in all honesty. Instead I tried to mediate with the school, agreeing to meetings, emailing back and forth all with little effect on the actual bullying.
I felt lost at this point, I was terrified at the idea of deregistering Eva and ruining her education, knowing school placements are quite limited and with us not having a car again right now, travelling to and from another school would be awkward even if there were suitable placements. I didn’t feel I was up to home ed considering the struggles we had during covid but when Eva and the Mr were followed and he was attacked after Eva had spent months having daily incidents being attacked in all kinds of ways, knew I had to make a decision.
I have been exactly where Eva was, only my mother reacted by screaming at the main culprit (a year 7 boy) in the high street outside of the school, a year 11 girl stepped in to tell her she needed to take it up with the school. When she did this my mother lost it and went for the girl, grabbing and tearing the girls skirt off her. Needless to say I was embarrassed more than I had been being bullied in front of everyone, she was acting no better than the bullies. Obviously the school were less than pleased and it was agreed all round I should deregister and register at another school instead which took months as they didn’t want her anywhere near the school. This definitely wasn’t what I wanted to see Eva go through even if I did feel like going to the school and kicking off.
I decided Eva’s mental health and sense of well being mattered the most, so I informed the school of the incident, declined further meetings and deregistered Eva, notifying the school I planned to home educate with immediate effect. And promptly had a breakdown.
Thankfully with some advice from Martyn, the home ed community and a fantastic tutor willing to try long distance learning with us, so far home ed has been a mostly positive experience. Eva has become a little attached to the Mr and I, which I guess is to be a expected especially after a traumatic event but she has a few friends in the home ed community, works at her own pace, goes shopping, eats out and we plan to start having some educational trips too.
I’m just hoping I’m being the adult I hoped for and Eva is truly happier with how things have worked out! 🤞
