Wobbles and gratitude seem to be my life lately. As I’m sure it has been for most people, 2020 has been one messed up year full of change, fear and confusion not to mention the usual life stresses! There has also been lots of moments where I’ve felt extremely grateful though. I thought it would be good for me to write about it and have something to look back on as a reminder that 2020 wasn’t all that bad.
OK so there have been a LOT of wobbles this year. We’ve had to replace our car, washing machine, the TV died which we only use for DVDs but try having two children home for 7 months and lacking that extra distraction! On top of that we’ve had car parts to sort for our current car, the girls both decided to grow not one but two sizes.. Yup while the majority of shops were shut.
Our emersion heater for hot water has now been dead for almost a fortnight and work is due to start tomorrow after multiple call outs, being left a full day without full use of our electrics. mainly in the kitchen, and of course they didn’t turn up until way after dinner time having been called at 6am the day the emersion heater tripped all all the electrics.
Missing Friends And Family
I’ve also been wobbling over missing people, who knew you could be so antisocial yet miss people!? What the hell is that about, seriously!? We have spent every birthday having a BBQ with Martyn and Hannah, we attend one or two events with them across the year and honestly, missing these made me really wobbly, it had become a routine we all enjoyed. I know almost everyone has missed somebody this year, it’s been so hard on us all. Hopefully next year we can all see more of our friends and family.
Sheayla, although part of our bubble usually, has been really busy and my head won’t let me ask when she is free in case I add to her stress. I know its difficult with college, work and trying to flit between her mums, dads and boyfriends houses and spend time with everyone. The girls have really missed seeing her regularly and so have I but thankfully we have had a catch up at last this week.
On the note of being thankful, around all these stressful, wobbly times I have begun to notice that the people around me have made such a difference and for that I am extremely grateful for! I may not see these people day to day, month to month or even year to year but this year has shown me I do have a support network, something I felt I didn’t really have.
The Mr has been amazing through it all, how on earth he copes with me moping around growling about everything without losing it himself is beyond me. He’s taken over even more around the flat because I finally admitted to him how much more I was struggling day to day. Things like loading the dishwasher I have tried to keep doing as I feel lazy otherwise but some days I just cant cope with the pain and the knock on effect was stressing me out to breaking point, so now if I haven’t done it around the times I usually do it, he goes ahead and does it for me and I’m learning to let him and appreciate his help instead of just seeing the negative side.
Ken and I have two close friends who have really helped us through this year as well as others. Whether its running me to the hospital or lending us some cash to get us through whatever disaster life has decided to throw our way that day, they have been there for us.
On top of that I have a handful of close online friends such as Fiona, Lisa, Martyn and Bubble who have kept me going. I know I can rant away without judgement when I’m stressed, get it all off my chest, allowing me to calm back down and either find a solution or accept whatever rubbish has just come our way. Having friends to talk to during wobbles can make such a difference. I definitely need to harass Martyn more but stupidly tried not to knowing he was stressed, the truth is we all have stress and we all need a little bit of harassment from good friends to keep us going and remind us we are all struggling in our own ways.
With our lack of hot water its been quite challenging, due to Covid there are less people working at the same time and our job needs three people hence the long wait. Throughout this Sheayla’s mum/ my Step-mum has been extremely supportive, letting us borrow her bathroom and she is fantastic with the girls. Without Heidi, I genuinely don’t think I would have coped at all these last few weeks. The last thing you want during a pandemic is to be short of hot water and the ability to keep your hands clean! Especially when sending your children to school. Sheayla has been fantastic helping me bath the girls if she’s home too which I truly appreciate, they don’t need a lot of help anymore but it still leaves me exhausted and sore through to the next day.
So overall it has been a rather rubbish year but there has been some highlights and for that I am extremely thankful! I’ve spent more time with the girls than ever, we’ve done so much at home and have lots of happy memories to look back on. Lets hope we all have a much better year next year with less wobbles and remember to keep supporting one another where we can.