Tag: mental health

A Full Year Of Home Education

Education / 8 months ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I can’t believe it’s been just over a full year of home education for Eva. We are getting prepared for our LA meeting next week and it’s given me a chance to reflect on our year.

I was terrified at the start, home education was the unknown and I wasn’t sure if we were up to it, with my health issues, fatigue, brain fog I worried a lot but whilst I am nervous about our meeting, having written myself some notes I’ve realised we’ve done A LOT in just one year! A part of me still feels it’s maybe not enough but I know my anxiety always gets the better of me so I’m trying to see the positives.

Eva has a fantastic tutor Julia from FCL Chester Le Street who provides us with workbooks each month covering the core subjects and Eva’s interests. If Eva is stuck we can message Julia or book an online lesson to help her understand what she needs to do which has been a life saver! We did have a little hiccup where Eva didn’t finish a few write ups or upload them to google Classroom so we have spent this month going back through to see what has been missed and thankfully Eva is catching up nicely.

We are due to move soon, we have had our offer accepted on a house and just waiting for the survey to be completed to move forward, I feel this is partly to blame for Eva falling behind as we have been travelling a lot since May to view houses. Julia has assured me Eva was beginning to work ahead of herself anyway so she is still where she is supposed to be rather than behind which is a relief.

Eva loves using Duolingo and has been learning French and Greek and has almost 440 days of achievements! She is great at finding educational games and resources when she takes ‘breaks’ between written work.

Having taught herself to crochet, Eva has made so many amazing things this year from crocheted toys to clothing! She wants to continue this and study business so that she can go on to set up her own crochet business/craft shop selling yarn, accessories and her makes. Obviously we have encourage this, helped her research what would be needed to do this, what educational qualifications would help, which laws and regulations she would need to adhere to, designing logos etc. She is currently working on an amazing raccoon sweater!

Eva’s interest in crochet has grown so much we’ve attended Fun Palace sessions at our local library, showcasing our crochet makes and teaching people to crochet. Eva volunteered during the summer reading challenge and took her crochet with her and ended up showing other kids how to crochet too, it’s been a great boost to her confidence.

Having received her Jack Petchey award last year for being kind, she has also been invited to an awards ceremony for her volunteer work during the summer reading challenge next Tuesday which we are looking forward to. It’s nice she’s still been involved in the community and receiving awards for her efforts.

We have attended quite a few different home ed sessions across the year from jump giants, flip out, rock up, forest school as well as some more relaxed home ed meets at parks and the cinema, I feel she has actually socialised a lot more this year, made some great friends and happy memories, which is a lovely turn around from last year when she felt she would never make friends or trust people again.

Eva has also shown a big interest in cooking this year, beforehand she was too scared and unsure to use things like the kettle or toaster which she now does with ease. She’s been making meals for us all as a family, often inviting my sister and others, often cooking for 6 people at once! Her favourites are beef burgers made from scratch, Swedish meatballs with creamy gravy and chicken noodles. She often discovers a new recipe and asks to give it a go which is lovely, especially getting to try it all haha!

We have had some awesome days out and about too, visiting Camden market, learning about the history, tasting all the different foods on offer which was Eva’s favorite part, she kept looping back around the food stalls as they kept handing her testers haha!

We also have annual passes for Southend Sea Life centre so we took advantage and booked experiences to feed penguins and meerkats which have made some lovely family days out and birthday gifts for both girls.

The most important thing for me that stands out after a year of home education is the drastic improvement in Eva’s mental health and wellbeing. Her confidence seems to grow by the day, with her suggesting new things to learn or try and whilst I still worry she’s missing out not being in a school and she is hopeful to go back to school when we move, I’m glad we took the step to try home education. I still remember how stressful school days were, how broken Eva seemed at the end of every day and I’m just relieved to have my happy, bubbly, flappy daughter back! 💜

Happier Dayz as the !!!!!Live And Let Die Trader

Gaming / 3 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’ve been so quiet here lately and for once it’s not because I’m hiding in a bout of depression! We’ve been watching The Running Manz on YouTube for a few years now, he plays a game called Dayz, a zombie survival game. I’m not really a gamer but Paul is so funny and there is just so much to the game it got me and the Mr interested!

The girls got an Xbox for Christmas but barely used it so I figured I’d try out Dayz, I sucked and kept getting killed by zombie but I was hooked and loved hunting for what I needed around the map. When you die you respawn with a glow stick, bandage and piece of fruit and you have to find everything from food, clothes, weapons, building materials etc.

I bought it for the Mr on pc too hoping to play together but then we realised it isn’t cross platform so we both just kept trying out official servers and whilst we had fun we didn’t really get too far with any of our characters, lasting maybe a day or so at a time.

During school runs the Mr mentioned to Eva’s friends parents we had been trying out Dayz and they played too on Xbox so I joined them and they discovered an awesome server called Racoon City UK which recently change to Live And Let Die as it seems the name is used by a few servers and some were upset with us having the same name, we decided it was much simpler to change the name than end up in a silly war.

We instantly got down to business building a base, raided someone else’s who then raided us and over time I found myself spending most of my days killing zombies, looting and setting myself challenges like gathering logs and planks to build bigger bases, eventually we had to start trading to empty out a bit! Naturally I spent a lot of time winding up my friend too when he was annoying, like the time I moved the crates and dropped them everywhere knowing he likes them neat and tidy haha!

Community Trader

With the latest update to Dayz the server needed to wipe clean, all bases gone, everyone starts fresh at the coast so our awesome admin decided to create a safe zone so people could get themselves settled in, especially if new to the game, he even added houses for people to have some storage that can’t be raided. He created a friendly little community, outside of the safe zone is kill on sight anywhere though so you don’t lose that pvp feel and having to watch your back. It’s a fun server with very few rules, just don’t be a dick!

In the safe zone I now have a warehouse for my trading with items that spawn in which we sell for nails, people can easily find in the trucks loaded with building items all around the map, giving people a good start without making things so easy they get bored. It’s such a great little server all round to be honest and always something random happening!

The full Xbox community server name is below if you would like to join me. Feel free to come say hi, I’m always wearing a purple bandana and now a green arm band and occasionally a pumpkin head whilst dancing around stupidly! 😁

!!!!!LIVE AND LET DIE/CUSTOM MAP/SZ/Trader discord.gg/sW7WXFFqZ5

Happier Dayz

It’s crazy how much I have gotten into this game, it just had so much going for it and it’s actually helped me so much with my health and mental health too. I’m no longer spending my days stressed, worrying and over thinking because I’m busy helping people or hunting or building or even planting pumpkins and doing a rain dance. I’m not pushing myself physically, I can stay sat in one place longer now and I hurt less for it, I’m sleeping a little better because of it all too.

This week I’d usually be a pacing stressed mess, Eva’s presents haven’t all arrived in time, people are unsure if they can visit on the day or come for the meal we have planned but I realise I can’t solve it all and just taking it as it comes, I’ve apologised and explained everything to Eva and she seems to be taking it well, she does at least have some new art supplies and a tonne of vbucks for fortnite which should last her at least 10 seconds haha! My anxiety seems to have calmed a little, definitely not completely but enough to no longer feel I need to chase help. I’m accepting my limits and enjoying Dayz when I reach them and realising that having something for me is a good thing, plus I get to wear purple! 😁💜

Do you have a game that you really enjoy and makes you feel happier? Have you ever played Dayz before?

Tackling My Mental Health

Physical and Mental Health / 4 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’ve been tackling my mental health again, it’s always very up and down as long as I can remember.

*Trigger Warning*

I struggle to ask for help as many do when suffering mental health issues but after a few big wobbles earlier this year I decided I really needed to deal with my mental health better. I was already struggling and very wobbly when again, my benefits were messed around with due to DWP not even attempting to read my doctors notes.

Obviously the huge cut in money left me feeling awful, a burden to my family making them suffer and go without because my physical and mental health is rubbish. Building up yet more debt because we only just finished paying off the loan we took from them last time they messed up. Add to that the fact I’ve felt like a burden and waste of space since a young age, I was seriously considering how easily I could escape it all by jumping out of our 11th floor window. The Mr thankfully saw how much I was struggling and talked to me about trying to get counselling again.

Inclusion Thurrock

There is a self referral programme called Inclusion Thurrock that offers a few services to help those struggling with their mental health. I attended a few CBT session here previously but after a few sessions I ran away knowing I’d simply get discharged.

I found CBT unhelpful for me but I’ve recently learnt I need trauma focussed CBT due to my PTSD and panic disorder thanks to the therapist who is still trying to assess me after two appointments.

Knowing my past is a bit much for some people can make it difficult to open up and talk about the really bad parts, I used to try and blurt through the blog but then found it hard to write how I really felt. I can laugh and joke and tell stories like I wasn’t there and it was all fun and games but my new therapist is quite easy to talk to and I’ve managed to spill a bit already and realising I’m not making myself worse but my past was more traumatic than I believed/still believe at times so it does have a big impact on my day to day life.

EMDR

My therapist has suggested trauma focussed CBT and EMDR to help me process my memories and move forward. Tackling my mental health is more than just making me feel better, our mental health affects those around us too and I’m very aware of that. I don’t want the girls growing up struggling because they’ve seen me go through it and I want them to see that its ok to ask for help.

EMDR utilises the natural healing ability of your body. After a thorough assessment, you
will be asked specific questions about a particular disturbing memory. Eye movements,
similar to those during REM sleep, will be recreated simply by asking you to watch the
therapist’s finger moving backwards and forwards across your visual field. Sometimes, a
bar of moving lights or headphones is used instead. The eye movements will last for a
short while and then stop. You will then be asked to report back on the experiences you
have had during each of these sets of eye movements. Experiences during a session may
include changes in thoughts, images and feelings.
With repeated sets of eye movements, the memory tends to change in such a way that it
loses its painful intensity and simply becomes a neutral memory of an event in the past.
Other associated memories may also heal at the same time. This linking of related
memories can lead to a dramatic and rapid improvement in many aspects of your life.

I have to admit at first I thought it sounded a bit silly but reading more into it I’m feeling hopeful it may help and willing to give it a go as my mental health affects me constantly and the constant memories and flashbacks make me react differently to how I would usually, I can become panicky, think people are annoyed for no reason, jump at little noises etc as well as affecting my mood.

Not Giving Up

This week my therapist is on holiday and I’m determined to pick up the phone next week when she is back unlike my previous therapist. I felt like I had traumatised her simply by explaining BDSM. I didn’t feel she was able to cope with my being completely honest about what I had seen and grown up around so when she went on holiday I took the opportunity to not return. Thankfully my current therapist doesn’t seem as horrified by what I tell her, obviously she thinks it’s all horrible but I don’t feel like I’m traumatising her at least which is giving me more confidence.

Anyone that has followed my blog a while will know I quite often get side tracked and bounce from one subject to another and thankfully my therapist also let’s me do this without interrupting which is quite helpful as often I find several things from my past all link to how I’m feeling and reacting to situations now and she let’s me blurt that and how I see the link but can’t shut it down, hence the suggestion of trying EMDR.

I’m hoping I can tackle my mental health and start making some progress. I spent so long ignoring what I went through as a child and teenager, making jokes out of it all that I didn’t realise the impact it’s had on my way of thinking especially about myself. I knew my past messed me up a little bit but I didn’t realise how traumatic it really was.

I’m catching myself now and realising, things like when the Mr accidentally knocking my wax burner, I found a way to blame myself. I instantly felt guilty, it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have put it there, shouldn’t have put it on then, should have told him it was on, shouldn’t want something so silly just because it looks cool and smells nice, wasted money on a pathetic want because I’m a selfish bitch.

In the moment this all feels real, looking back it’s absolutely ridiculous and as the Mr said, it was simply an accident which he cleared up and put right. Yet I still kept berating myself. The hardest part is realising it when I calm down, seeing how ridiculous my reactions are and then I wonder how on earth the Mr puts up with this shit on a daily basis. How bloody annoying it must be! Hopefully trying a different style of CBT and trying EMDR will help with this as I am truly fed up with my past messing with my present.

Reaching Out

Have you been struggling with your mental health or tackling your mental health? I imagine lots of us are right now, I hope if you are you can find a service that can offer some help. If it doesn’t feel like it’s helping talk up, there may be another service they can offer or recommend that may be more beneficial. Please don’t do what I did and give up.

Having explained to my therapist what happened last time, she reminded me not everyone will click with every therapist and we are fully within our right to ask to see someone else if we don’t feel comfortable. I feel a bit silly now as I could have worked through these issues years ago had I spoken up and asked to see someone else but I’m determined to tackle this properly now and if I don’t feel comfortable I will be asking for a different therapist or therapy instead of struggling for a few more years then 6 months waiting for help!

If anyone is ever struggling please remember my social media DM’s and blog email (relentlesslypurple@gmail.com) are always open for a rant or a blurt. I may not have the answers or be able to help you heal but quite often I can listen, sympathise, make stupid jokes and help find local services that may help you. Tackling mental health is tricky but having people to blurt to can make a huge difference!

Wobbles And Gratitude

Rambles / 4 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple
Wobbles and Gratitude

Wobbles and gratitude seem to be my life lately. As I’m sure it has been for most people, 2020 has been one messed up year full of change, fear and confusion not to mention the usual life stresses! There has also been lots of moments where I’ve felt extremely grateful though. I thought it would be good for me to write about it and have something to look back on as a reminder that 2020 wasn’t all that bad.

Wobbles

adult alone black and white dark
Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

OK so there have been a LOT of wobbles this year. We’ve had to replace our car, washing machine, the TV died which we only use for DVDs but try having two children home for 7 months and lacking that extra distraction! On top of that we’ve had car parts to sort for our current car, the girls both decided to grow not one but two sizes.. Yup while the majority of shops were shut.

Our emersion heater for hot water has now been dead for almost a fortnight and work is due to start tomorrow after multiple call outs, being left a full day without full use of our electrics. mainly in the kitchen, and of course they didn’t turn up until way after dinner time having been called at 6am the day the emersion heater tripped all all the electrics.

Missing Friends And Family

I’ve also been wobbling over missing people, who knew you could be so antisocial yet miss people!? What the hell is that about, seriously!? We have spent every birthday having a BBQ with Martyn and Hannah, we attend one or two events with them across the year and honestly, missing these made me really wobbly, it had become a routine we all enjoyed. I know almost everyone has missed somebody this year, it’s been so hard on us all. Hopefully next year we can all see more of our friends and family.

Sheayla, although part of our bubble usually, has been really busy and my head won’t let me ask when she is free in case I add to her stress. I know its difficult with college, work and trying to flit between her mums, dads and boyfriends houses and spend time with everyone. The girls have really missed seeing her regularly and so have I but thankfully we have had a catch up at last this week.

Gratitude

thank you signage
Photo by Giftpundits.com on Pexels.com

On the note of being thankful, around all these stressful, wobbly times I have begun to notice that the people around me have made such a difference and for that I am extremely grateful for! I may not see these people day to day, month to month or even year to year but this year has shown me I do have a support network, something I felt I didn’t really have.

The Mr has been amazing through it all, how on earth he copes with me moping around growling about everything without losing it himself is beyond me. He’s taken over even more around the flat because I finally admitted to him how much more I was struggling day to day. Things like loading the dishwasher I have tried to keep doing as I feel lazy otherwise but some days I just cant cope with the pain and the knock on effect was stressing me out to breaking point, so now if I haven’t done it around the times I usually do it, he goes ahead and does it for me and I’m learning to let him and appreciate his help instead of just seeing the negative side.

Good Friends

Ken and I have two close friends who have really helped us through this year as well as others. Whether its running me to the hospital or lending us some cash to get us through whatever disaster life has decided to throw our way that day, they have been there for us.

On top of that I have a handful of close online friends such as Fiona, Lisa, Martyn and Bubble who have kept me going. I know I can rant away without judgement when I’m stressed, get it all off my chest, allowing me to calm back down and either find a solution or accept whatever rubbish has just come our way. Having friends to talk to during wobbles can make such a difference. I definitely need to harass Martyn more but stupidly tried not to knowing he was stressed, the truth is we all have stress and we all need a little bit of harassment from good friends to keep us going and remind us we are all struggling in our own ways.

Support

With our lack of hot water its been quite challenging, due to Covid there are less people working at the same time and our job needs three people hence the long wait. Throughout this Sheayla’s mum/ my Step-mum has been extremely supportive, letting us borrow her bathroom and she is fantastic with the girls. Without Heidi, I genuinely don’t think I would have coped at all these last few weeks. The last thing you want during a pandemic is to be short of hot water and the ability to keep your hands clean! Especially when sending your children to school. Sheayla has been fantastic helping me bath the girls if she’s home too which I truly appreciate, they don’t need a lot of help anymore but it still leaves me exhausted and sore through to the next day.

So overall it has been a rather rubbish year but there has been some highlights and for that I am extremely thankful! I’ve spent more time with the girls than ever, we’ve done so much at home and have lots of happy memories to look back on. Lets hope we all have a much better year next year with less wobbles and remember to keep supporting one another where we can.

Support your friends

Picking Back Up

Uncategorized / 5 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’m slowly picking back up with the blog and life in general after the COVID-19 lockdown madness. Like many others, the blog took a back seat while my family and close friends became my main focus. So much has happened though so I guess its time for an update!

Birthdays

I normally blog about the girls birthdays but it didn’t feel right this year. We still celebrated but it really wasn’t the same! Martyn and Hannah usually have us over and we have a BBQ for the kids birthdays which we really missed. Eva turned 10 this year so it sucked we couldn’t take her somewhere nice, we did however have a lovely day and Eva was thrilled to be included in birthday shoutouts by some of her favourite authors and illustrators. She was also sent a book by Jeff Norton, which we must get round to reviewing as she loves it!

By the time Izzy’s birthday came around we had at least planned a day of films, playing and crafting knowing it would be a quiet day. She was utterly spoilt by friends and family too and loved getting a new bike to race Eva on!

I turned 30 not long after Izzy’s birthday, usually we don’t do much. Birthdays are for the kids really, however we did have a lovely meal and some friends gave me birthday money which I spent on yarn, of course!

Relentlessly Crocheted

During lockdown I began to focus a lot more on my crochet. I had already set up an Instagram account and a Facebook page for my crochet but hadn’t really built up the confidence to really work on it.

Ember sat in the sunshine crocheting a rainbow blanket wearing a burgandy hoodie that says 'Sorry not sorry' on the front.

I started off by doing lots (over 200) of random acts of crocheted kindness, mostly making little heart or flower keyrings and hiding them wherever we went. I have had so many lovely messages from finders and I hope those who don’t use social media enjoyed their finds too. I will continue to do this as its such a lovely idea and it uses up my scraps and great to make on the go too. I’ve become the bag lady, hauling around a bag of yarn and hooks wherever I go haha!

Outside of random acts, I do want to take Relentlessly Crocheted and hopefully turn it into a fully fledged small business. I have been practising new techniques where I can, asking friends for ideas to challenge myself alongside making a few requests as gifts. My butterflies were so loved and it gave me such a confidence boost!

Contact From My Sister

So I suppose the biggest news of all this year is my sister making contact with me. We lost contact when Eva was a baby, due to falling out for the final time with my mother and issues I had with our dad, I cut myself off thinking it would be best all round. I wanted to stay in contact but felt it was inappropriate to try and stay in touch when I wanted nothing to do with our dad. Alongside all my mental and physical health problems too, I didn’t want a young child being dragged into stressful situations.

Ember sitting next to her sister Sheaylam, both smiling with purple butterflies around their face from a filter.

I had actually hoped when Sheayla was older she would contact me again but equally knew there was a chance she would feel abandoned by me and never want to talk to me again, fully understandable. Thankfully she is now 17, old enough to make her own choices and we’ve been in contact for about 4 or 5 months now!

Getting To Know Sheayla

It’s been lovely getting to know Sheay, I taught her how to crochet too and she’s set up her own page in the hopes of gaining some business which I’ve no doubt she will. She picked up crochet like a pro!

Sheayla is standing with arms around Eva and Izzy all smiling in the park

It is kind of strange getting to know someone who is very similar to yourself, but it means we get on quite well too which is nice. The girls absolutely love her and she is so good with the girls, understands when i explain one of them struggling or stressing over something and genuinely seems to care about them.

I love that they run to her for a hug when they see her, they get so excited and my soppy side loves that they finally have that from a blood relative. It hasn’t always been easy knowing my girls have very little family around them and something I often beat myself up over, but I know their safety and wellbeing is being put first.

Sheay has an older brother Karl, he is technically my step-brother as her mum and my dad married. I used to get on really well with Karl, we randomly ended up on the same college course for two years which is how I even discovered I had a sister in the first place!

I’ve also been meeting up with Karl which has also been lovely, we have quite a laugh being silly. We’ve been meeting up for hot chocolates to help me get out of the flat more and it’s been nice feeling like the old me again.

Moving Forward

I thought most of this post would be quite depressing but actually I’ve highlighted some of the better parts. It HAS NOT been easy though by any means. I feel lucky we weren’t impacted as badly as some throughout all this though, I have really struggled at times, worrying about finances, the girls being wobbly (Especially Eva!), trying to get back into a routine when I enjoyed the lockdown part because I’m part hermit, but I do realise it could have been much worse.

I guess for the time being Covid is here to stay and things will be a bit weird for a while but I am focusing on moving forward. I want to get back into blogging, I love to write! I want to build up Relentlessly Crocheted so I get an order or two a week, I’m hoping I can keep on building a good relationship with Sheayla and most importantly I want to keep working on improving my mental health. I coped well for a good 5-6 months during lockdown but that final month, not knowing if things would change again, has left me feeling a little lost.

Getting Out

One thing I’m determined to work on is getting out of the flat more! Ken is always encouraging me to have some time to myself, go out, treat myself and I let anything and everything get in the way of that. I see anything that goes wrong as a sign I don’t deserve it and I really need to change that mindset. Usually my lack of local friends makes it impossible but having Sheay and Karl around is a start and whilst I did take a hit first, I have kept pushing myself during the dark days to reach out and plan something.

One thing I am REALLY looking forward to is this weekend! I have a girly weekend planned with Fiona and Lisa, who have honestly kept me going so much through this year. We plan to eat lots of cheesecake, drink lots of cuppas and relax a bit. I’m so excited I even bought new boots haha!

Overall 2020 is definitely one of the stranger years we’ve experienced but memories have still been made and very slowly we are all picking back up again.

10 Ways To Reduce Stress #StressAwarenessDay

Awareness Campaigns / 7 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’m sharing 10 ways to reduce stress as it’s #StressAwarenessDay. Many of us feel stressed out but Chronic stress can really affect your health. In a demanding world, we need to find ways to help reduce the stress in our lives.

10 Ways To Reduce Stress

Stress can suppress your immune system, upset your digestive & reproductive systems, increase the risk of heart attack or stroke and speeds up the ageing process. Stress can also rewire the brain leaving you vulnerable to Anxiety, Depression and other mental health issues.

10 Ways To Reduce Stress

1. Crafting

I find crafting really helps me calm down and live in the moment. Crocheting is my favourite craft to get lost in. Finding a craft you enjoy not only relaxes you but it gives you a sense of achievement too which we often lack. 

2. Music

Listening to your favourite songs is an instant mood booster! I had forgotten just how much of an effect music has until recently. Now I’m listening to something most of the time and I feel much happier and calmer, even though I’m ill and exhausted!

3. Have a bath

In a busy world, it can be tempting to jump into the shower quickly. Taking time to run a nice, warm, bubble bath for yourself and soaking for 10 minutes not only relaxes your muscles but your mind too. Why not light some candles or play your favourite music?

4. Read a book

A lot can be said for getting lost in a book. After a busy summer holiday, I began to enjoy books again. Taking time out to get lost in another world really helps calm your mind. 

5. Talk

Often we get so stressed out with so many thoughts we can get easily confused. Talking things over not only helps you feel heard but it can also help you figure out how to tackle the situation better.

6. Rest

Resting can really help you think more rationally and feel less stressed. That’s not always easy to do but there are several ways to help you fall asleep from hot soothing drinks, white noise, herbal medications and more.

7. Say no

It can be all too easy to say yes and help everyone else out. The problem is we often end up overloaded, but it’s ok to say no! I’m learning this myself and have to admit it is better to say no than to say yes and feel like a letdown. 

8. Treat yourself

Buy yourself something every once in a while, whether it’s your favourite chocolate, new shoes, or even that hot chocolate you (I) always put off! It doesn’t have to break the bank but it will make you feel happier.

9. Eat well

A balanced diet will help you feel more energetic. It’s easy to fall into bad habits but food can really affect our mood. Ensuring you have adequate amounts of nutrients can also help you avoid diet-related diseases.

10. Stop putting yourself down

Often our stress is triggered by our own heads telling us we aren’t doing or being enough. We need to be mindful of our inner voices, ask yourself, would you say that to a friend? Look for the positives and praise all those little ‘wins’ even if that is simply making it out of bed that day.

Getting Help

If talking to friends and family isn’t helping and you feel you need further help, you can contact your GP who can advise you further. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) or counselling may be offered. There are also several charities you can contact – 

Mind – 
0300 123 3393
info@mind.org.uk
Text: 86463

Call Samaritans free on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org

Find Psychological therapies locally (England) on the NHS site here.

Do you use any of these to reduce stress?

12 Signs You May Have An Anxiety Disorder

Anxiety / 7 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

There are 12 signs you may have an anxiety disorder which has been highlighted in the infographic below. As an anxiety sufferer myself, I think it is important to be aware of the signs. Several times I have shared posts about my own anxiety as well as tips to help others here & think this information is highly important.

Anxiety disorder is a serious condition that should be treated immediately. When you see signs that you or your loved one is under this mental condition, you have to seek for professional help the soonest time possible. Not doing so may lead to a more serious situation or condition that may not be treatable or may already deteriorate your or your loved one’s quality of life completely. But before you finally decide to seek for a professional help, you have to understand that anxiousness is different from an anxiety disorder. To help you in assessing your condition, read on the 12 signs you may have an anxiety disorder.

12 Signs You May Have An Anxiety Disorder

 

If you relate to most or all of these symptoms, you can get help & you are not alone! There are approximately 3 million people with an anxiety disorder in the UK. Anxiety disorders are manageable with professional help. Anyone who relates to the signs above, I urge you to seek help.

Treatment Options

If you need help there are plenty of treatment options to manage an anxiety disorder, from therapy to medication. Talking about your symptoms with your GP can help work out the best options. Counselling or CBT may be extremely beneficial. I know how hard it is to live with anxiety day to day & I am on medication to help control both my anxiety & depression.

Having support & professional help can be life-changing for anyone with anxiety so please, check on your friends & family. If you feel you have an anxiety disorder let someone close know if you don’t feel ready to face a GP. By having a close friend or family member aware of your symptoms they may be able to accompany you to appointments.

Helplines

There are many different organisations available & helpful to anyone with an anxiety disorder. I have put together a small list of helplines & services for anyone relating to the signs in the infographic who feel they need help. Most of the sites offer a range of FAQs you may find helpful along with local service locators.

Anxiety UK

03444 775 775 (Monday–Friday 9.30am–5.30pm)
anxietyuk.org.uk

 

No Panic

helpline: 08449 67 48 48 (10am–10pm)
nopanic.org.uk 

 

Mind

MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393

mind.org.uk

 

Anxiety Alliance

Helpline: 0845 296 7877 (10-10 daily)

anxietyalliance.org.uk

 

Do you relate to the 12 signs you may have an anxiety disorder? Please do reach out for professional help if an anxiety disorder is disrupting your life. Things can get better!

 

 

Recovering From A Low Patch

Family / 7 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

I’m slowly recovering from a low patch. Having felt great following my personal month of blogging challenge, losing my ESA award was a huge blow. It left us struggling financially, we spent every single day and weekend focused on finding a solution. Trying to writing the right letter and applying for the right benefits with 2 kids around can be hellish.

Recovering From A Low Patch

Benefit Changes & Accepting I Need A Carer

DWP Assessors acknowledged all my health issues and agreed they impacted my health. However, I was basically told I could work if I used a wheelchair. Sod my mental health too, just get on with it basically. Luckily I receive PIP and with the Mr spending so much time at home caring for me, doing things I can’t, reminding me to eat regularly, take my medications on time etc allowed him to claim carers allowance which also entitled him to claim income support for us.

Having a Carer

I’m not going to lie, whilst accepting that I do need a carer was hard, it was also a relief. Passing on the burden of having to fill out the form correctly made things less stressful. After 2 months of barely any money to live on, we received the benefit awards the same day as our eviction notice. Luckily that meant we could notify the council and avoid being evicted.

Getting Back On Track

I still struggled for a while, kicking myself for putting us through 2 months of hell because of my health. After a few weeks spent catching up on bills though, things finally turned around. Being able to treat the girls to what they need plus a few extras have been lovely. I felt so selfish when we had nothing, the whole family suffered because of my assessment.

Slowly picking myself back up I’ve managed to get back on track with finding out what’s going on with me. I missed blood tests after losing my award as I felt it was pointless. So what if I was ill? Everyone else was barely able to eat. Obviously now I see it probably would have helped me to carry on with the tests so I have been back to the Dr and getting back on top of it all.

Instead of pushing myself through frustration I’ve slowed down, picked up my crochet hook more and read, having more me time has helped. Recovering from a low patch can be quite wobbly, I’ve had some low days reflecting on these last few months. I’ve also been trying to make the most of being in a better situation and accepting I need more help has helped me feel better about having more me time, something the Mr is always nagging me to do!

Having A Life Again

Knowing the Mr can pick up a few beers to relax after a day of school runs, shopping, clothes washing, reminding me to person and general tidying is a huge relief. The poor bloke barely has a social life, he spends so much time at home helping us. It’s nice he can sit and relax after a long day with a cold beer.

I’ve had the chance to finally try Contact Lenses with a push from the Mr and eventually decided to go with Daily lenses instead of monthlies without feeling hugely guilty. The benefits have outweighed the costs and as the Mr is now officially my Carer he is using it as an excuse to make me listen & treat myself more!

Contact Lens

Months of apologising to the girls because we couldn’t afford to do this or buy that was hard. Luckily we were able to get out to the Dickens festival & spoilt them slightly. We made the most of being out for the first time in months which felt great. Mum guilt is horrible when you are the reason your kids are going without so it was lovely to finally say YES. Izzy was ecstatic to see The Lamplighter and he sung the Charlie Mops song just for her even though he hadn’t planned to sing it!

Eva spent some birthday money and I treated her to a few extras too. Something I hadn’t been able to do for a while! As she has become a huge Harry Potter fan we picked her up some awesome bits like this box and sign!

Being Robbed By Royal Mail & Fonegiant

The Mr made sure I finally have a working phone (LG G5!) too which was a huge relief after months of phone stress. With Fonegiant and Royal Mail both failing spectacularly with Fonegiant sending out a locked phone, in the wrong colour, followed by Royal mail losing the £180 phone.

Royal Mail can only refund the person who paid the postage which is down to Fonegiant who refuse to claim and instead keep resending me the Royal Mail Claims site page. I certainly wouldn’t recommend buying a phone from Fonegiant as there is no guarantee you will receive a working phone and clearly they are unwilling to help once they have the money safely in their account.

Royal Mail did eventually give me £60 compensation and accepted they have lost the phone. They refused to refund me the £180 for the phone as Fonegiant have to chase it.. Which of course Adam who owns Fonegiant is refusing to do. Having been robbed by them both in the middle of all this just made me feel even worse. I felt suicidal for the first time in years.

That refund could have fed us when we had no money coming in! Without a phone, I couldn’t book the appointments needed or answer calls from DWP which helped my assessment fail. I was immensely grateful when Mandy offered to send me a phone to help me out. She warned me it may not work with a big crack in the screen. The phone worked enough for me to make those necessary calls and I honestly can’t thank Mandy enough!

The Mr eventually bought me a G5 for £40 less than the one from Fonegiant. It arrived working, the correct colour, on the correct network! Such a relief!

Recovering From A Low Patch

Since things fell back in place, the Mr has bought me a new (working!) LG G5, allowing me to feel connected again. I can keep up with everything again, I can moan on twitter and harass Martyn and Hannah on Whatsapp (Sorry guys but you kept me sane) again. I can call and book appointments and keep in touch with my brother again. All things I felt lost without!

Hopefully, now I’ll find my blogging mojo again. I’m determined to set myself a few goals over the coming months. Blogging definitely keeps me sane, whatever I’m sharing. From sharing cool products, covering my mental & physical health, crafts, books, it all makes me feel happier. Jibbering moany rubbish helps me get everything off my chest so my head can attempt thinking logically. Sharing our ups & downs has been a massive help to me & it’s lovely to look back & see how far we’ve come.

Looking back over the last few months, we’ve been through quite a lot but there are so many positives to focus on! I have realised I have some fantastic friends I can genuinely rely on, talk openly with and feel supported by.

Going through this has shown me we can get through so much as a family. The last few months have been so stressful for us all yet we still come out stronger than ever! When you aren’t worrying so much about where the next meal is coming from everything feels amazing. I’ve been in agony at times but still, I feel grateful to finally have everything back in place.

If you are ever having a low patch, reach out, there’s always someone willing to listen. My DM’s are always open! Sometimes things like this hit us hard & small things on top can tip us over the edge but we can recover from a low patch!

Mental Health Awareness Week 2018

Awareness Campaigns / 7 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

It’s Mental Health Awareness week 2018, organised by the Mental Health Foundation. This runs from 14th – 20th May and focuses on stress, a key factor in mental health problems. Research shows 2/3 of us experience mental health problems with stress being a key factor according to the Mental Health Foundation.

Mental Health Awareness

Mental health awareness week 2018

Stress

Stress can cause or worsen anxiety, depression, self-harm and suicidal thoughts. Anyone of us can experience mental health problems throughout our lifetime and we need to openly talk about this to help beat the stigma and raise awareness. Stress in the workplace is the Mental Health Foundations main focus this mental health awareness week.

I have written several times on the blog about mental health awareness & my own mental health. From struggling with chronic pain at 25, my anxiety, having a carer at 27 and more. I know I’m not alone as there are some wonderful bloggers & readers out there who have opened up too.

Mental Health Affects Everyone

Young children and teens are also at risk of stress with the pressure to maintain high standards in school, friendships, overloaded with school work, homework and endless tests. Adults have so many different stressors from overworking, lack of wor/ability to work, financial strains, family issues and more, it can be difficult to cope in this hectic world. The more we talk about this, the easier it will be for those suffering mental health problems to speak up. I used to bottle everything up myself and it made things so much worse!

Beat The Stigma – Talk!

Talking about my mental health through the blog at times has been extremely cathartic for me. I know from comments left that opening up has helped others to do the same, it’s a chain reaction. Whilst most people may not feel comfortable to write publicly, talking to close friends and family can do the same. The more we talk about mental health and make changes to lessen day to day life stresses, the easier is to admit how we feel and that we need help. The more we talk about mental health and make it everyday conversation the quicker we can beat the stigma and support one another better.

Get Help

If you need to talk to someone my DM’s/Email is always open if any of my readers ever want to chat. Sometimes we need a little more than that and the following charities are here to help, should you need it. It may also be useful to look for therapists in your local area.

Mind

https://www.mind.org.uk/

Email – info@mind.org.uk

Infoline – 0300 123 3393

Text: 86463.

Lines are open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).

Samaritans

www.samaritans.org.uk

Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)

Sane

www.sane.org.uk/support

SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (daily, 4.30-10.30pm)

Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most: http://www.sane.org.uk/textcare

Peer support forum: www.sane.org.uk/supportforum

YoungMinds

Information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.

www.youngminds.org.uk

Phone: Parents’ helpline 0808 802 5544 (Mon-Fri, 9.30am-4pm)

Did you know it was mental health awareness week?

Having A Carer At 27 Years Old

Anxiety / 7 years ago / RelentlesslyPurple

Having a carer isn’t something I expected to happen at 27 years old. I suffer from Chronic back pain, Sciatica, Depression, Anxiety & apparently (yet to be diagnosed) PTSD.  Due to my ESA being refused after 2 years receiving it, we have had to look at other options. I simply can’t cope with a tribunal, talking to strangers, going through my weaknesses yet again. It is honestly soul destroying, my mental health isn’t at a point where I can fight a battle like that.

For the first time in almost 8/9 years I felt suicidal again. I genuinely felt my family would be better off without me. I  thought about facing a tribunal but because I know it will be a struggle to attend, explain myself & I didn’t want to put the whole family through several more months of stress. Instead we have had to look at other ways to get by & as part of that, the Mr is now officially my Carer.

Having a Carer
Photo by lalesh aldarwish from Pexels

My Carer

Anyone that knows me well will know the Mr has been caring for me fully for the past 3-4 years. We never made that official on paper but it has been the case since Izzy was around a year old. I began to struggle to lift her, the pain would cause me to lose my vision. Things got worse & I know me fighting it & trying to appear healthy did more damage. It took a long time for me to accept I couldn’t manage a lot of daily tasks.

The Mr has done so much for us over the years, kept me going during my lowest points, making sure I take my medications, book & attend appointments, reminding me I have to eat at least twice a day, helping me up, chores I can’t manage, shopping, school runs & so much more that it makes sense for him to finally be my Carer on paper. I often joke about being useless without the Mr & it’s completely true, we’ve had our ups & downs but as my health has declined he has gone above & beyond to help me any way he can.

A Shock & Relief

Receiving the award letter was both a relief and a slight ‘oh’ moment though. As I said to the Mr, ‘This means you’re officially the adultier adult!’. I panicked slightly then, realising I had fully admitted I need help & a carer for at least 35 hours a week. It’s one thing having that help, it’s another seeing it written down on paper.

Once I calmed down it made me realise a few things. Whilst the DWP left me feeling useless & worthless, I do genuinely need the help and whilst ESA may be a nightmare to have awarded due to the shocking state of the system, we are entitled to something! It’s been a rough 2 months with barely any money coming in so it was a relief for the Mr to be awarded & paid carers allowance. I realised I am not admitting defeat like I first thought. Instead, I’m accepting help to enable me to get through day to day life smoothly.

Daily Life

Since my ESA was refused daily life has been a bit upside down. I’ve really struggled to do anything I enjoy, including blogging; feeling guilty for letting the family down. Now we have another solution I don’t feel so bad. I know we are on a low income because of me, my mental & physical health but knowing the Mr’s help is now at least recognised I feel a little less like it’s all on my shoulders. Knowing we have some kind of income other than my PIP is a huge relief. Even though I make it difficult because neither of us can work, I feel a little better. It’s tough being ill, it’s even tougher asking for & accepting help but I think in a way I will find it a little easier to ask for help now & not just from the Mr.

 

 

DIY Daddy