I’ve set myself 6 goals for 2019. I’m not usually the type to go making resolutions but I do have a few aims for this year, they are all realistic goals I hope to achieve.
1. Read 20 Books
I found my love of reading again in 2018 and managed to work my way through several Dick Francis books and both books by Fiona Morgan. In total, I read about 10 books last year which I’m really pleased about! The Mr helped me decide a number and we set a goal of 20 books for 2019. A realistic goal in between blogging, crocheting and life. I used to read so much that this has to be at
2. Continue Learning Crochet
I still consider myself a newbie when it comes to crochet. I’ve made a few scarves, blankets, cardigans and a few amigurami makes over the last 2-3 years. Having taught myself using YouTube and Pinterest for how to’s and ideas to help, my confidence has really grown, especially in 2018. I’m proud to say I actually designed my very own Purple Crocheted Summer Cardigan. A huge achievement for me! I can’t wait to learn and make more.
3. Blog More
Over 3 and a half years I’ve created over 450 blog posts! Another big achievement for me. I’ve slowly got more confident with my writing but my personal posts have been lacking a little in 2018. Lots of lows made blogging a chore at some points but I’m determined to log more on the blog. This is my space but I let the worry of a certain person reading my thoughts hold me back. I’m determined to write how and when I want in 2019 and to write a lot more!
4. Quit Smoking
I am slowly feeling calmer and coping better so I am hoping this will help me quit smoking in 2019. I intend to buy another vape soon and hopefully, that will help. Even if I just manage to cut down to start with I will be happy!
5. Craft More
We love to craft and made a fantastic cardboard box dragon in 2018 that the girls really enjoyed. I want to do more crafting like this and share our makes on the blog!
6. Be Me
I’ve slowly started finding me again this year and I want to be more me. For years I was convinced I was a waste of space. Nothing I did would ever be good enough but with the support from the Mr, the girls and a few close friends I’ve slowly learnt I am enough. I may find it difficult to start conversations, I may be awkward, forget plans or to return messages but I do care. I’m always around if someone needs me, they only need to shout. I will always do my best to try and do the right thing even if it turns out not to be. I know I’m not perfect but I’m determined to love my flaws and just be me for 2019.
Leaving A Stressful 2018 Behind
2018 was a rollercoaster year for me, losing my ESA, nearly losing myself in the appeals process and finally losing contact with my brother. I’m determined to have a better year, my head is in a better place and whilst I am immensely gutted about my brother, it’s made me see things differently.
I know now that I am not responsible for my brother and his behaviour and I refuse to let him blame me for his own mistakes any longer. The behaviour my girls have seen from him isn’t anything I’d allow from anyone else and even their attitude and behaviour has improved without contact. They were devastated he didn’t get in touch over Christmas which led to missing certain traditions with him though.
Having gone out of my way to include my brother in everything I can over the years, I have to admit it hit hard that he hasn’t apologised but I’m determined to move forward this year and stop feeling guilty and responsible for everyone else.
There has been some positives from 2018, I’ve got some good friends around like Martyn, Hannah, Checka and a few who don’t blog too. The girls have had amazing school reports and are happy which has made me feel immensely proud! We had a lovely Christmas and for the first time in a long time I feel really calm.
This year will be about me, the Mr and the girls, it will be full of growth and lessons learnt and hopefully, I will achieve my 6 goals for 2019!