First steroid injections

I finally had my first steroid injections yesterday at Orsett Hospital after what felt like an extremely long wait. In the end my consultant decided to give me a Lumbar epidural steroid injection, Left L5, S1 Dorsal root ganglia and Right S1, S2,  S3 lateral branch diagnostic blocks.

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I was so nervous but somehow managed to keep fairly calm on the surface. I arrived at 9am where I was shown to a bed and given a gown and the most stunning see through granny knickers going (haha!) to change into. I had my blood pressure taken once the nurse finally found a small enough arm wrap for me  & she checked my temperature before I signed some forms and was given my hospital bands and told someone would come and see me soon. I sat and skimmed the book I took along with me whilst trying to stop myself thinking of anything and working myself up. Then the lady next to me was called in after a while and I was told I would be next and someone would collect me in about 20 minutes.

I felt ridiculously nervous and mentioned on the way to the operating theatre that I had a bit of a needle phobia and was trying my best to ignore it. I had to be propped up with 2 pillows under my stomach as I am slim. They cracked a few jokes about but by then I had already began to panic and was trying to focus on not jumping off the table but my consultant Dr. Thompson noticed my heart rate and asked for me to be sedated and  I felt calm almost instantly and although I kind of felt something was happening it didn’t hurt and I wasn’t really aware of what was happening. I remember rolling onto my bed to be taken to recovery and slowly coming round fully a little while later.

Apart from a few tingles I felt very little to begin with, in fact I was amazed I had no pain! After I had been back on the ward a little while I was given tea and toast before attempting to stand. Surprisingly I felt fine standing and walking just a little stiff so the nurse let me change and called our friend Steve to come and collect me.

I felt a little stiff walking to the car and struggled to get comfy but didn’t feel too bad until I was almost home. Luckily Steve stopped and popped into a shop just in time for me to throw up. We managed to get home before I was sick again and I had a rest on the sofa. I tried to make sure I got up regularly and moved about to ease the stiffness although the pain gradually crept back over the afternoon.

first steroid injections

Over the next few hours my hips, back and legs felt like they were stiffening more and more and bolts of pain were taking my breath away and making me feel nauseous. By the evening I was in so much pain I felt so sick with each bolt of pain and struggled to eat. I spent most of the day on the sofa cuddled up with my pillow and wheat bag feeling exhausted and sorry for myself.

Before bed the Mr ran me a nice warm bath so I could de-tango myself and try to ease the pain a little in the hope I could get some sleep. I dosed myself up and although I did wake several times I had a fairly OK night but woke up very stiff again. Unfortunately I was sick a few more times when I got up due to bolts of pain and felt exhausted still but I tried to move around gently across the morning having a few rest periods on the sofa.

I decided to look Dr Thomson up on-line to see if there had been any feedback from his other patients and was surprised and pleased to find out just how successful he is in his field. When  I came across this page I really was impressed reading about Dr Thomson’s work and the 5th paragraph reminded me how it amazed me when he actually listened to me at my first pain management appointment and I had a feeling he really knew what he was talking about.

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http://www.basildonandthurrock.nhs.uk/media-centre/747-pain-consultant-highlights-international-work

 

Having read this I am so glad I am under such a great team and although I am struggling with the pain I am confident that whether the injections work or not I am under a great consultant who will continue to help me. From the very few people who were able to share their experiences with me it seems I have been very lucky so far and hopefully the pain will ease up soon and the injections work even if its just a few day’s of relief! I will be sent another appointment in the next 13-18 weeks so I guess for now its just a case of resting and seeing how things go. I think I’m going to set up the Catch My Pain app to remind me to track my pain levels again now I have the G4 back so I can monitor everything until my next appointment.

Second Pain Management Appointment

I had my second Pain Managment appointment today and it went pretty well. I filled him in on how my back has been lately explaining how im struggling to manage because the pain seems to be getting worse and I’m struggling to sleep because the left side of my ribcage feels like its being crushed inwards however I lay. He again confirmed I suffer chronic pain which is hard to treat but we can try and find ways to manage it.

I have to request an X-ray on my ribcage from my GP at my next appointment so he can see what is going on with it as you can visibly see the ribs poking out slightly too. I also let him know I have had my duloxetine upped from 20mg to 60mg because I’ve been feeling so depressed.

He examined my back when we had finished covering everything and got me a Tens machine to use and showed me where to place it and how to use it. He told me didn’t want to refer me to physio yet until we see how things go after the steroid injections and using the Tens machine regulalrly.

second pain management

I now have to monitor my weight and weigh myself at the same time every week making sure it doesnt carry on dropping.. Not something I’m looking forward to as I try not to weigh myself too much due to past problems but I am getting so fed up of being in pain that I’m happy to gain some weight. I just really need to try and remember to eat more and make sure theres a few more snacks around as otherwise I forget and usually just eat dinner each day. Luckily the CatchMyPain app lets me add details and notes for each day so I’m going to make sure I keep track of everything on there so I can show the Dr next time as I totally forget half of what I need to say when I go in there!

I wore the Tens whilst shopping after my appointment and it did seem a little easier although my balance is still awful and I feel silly walking. Hopefully the Tens helps me do more as I’m getting so fed up of not doing simple tasks or doing them then regretting it.

I’ll be having my Steroid injections in just a few weeks and then wont see pain management until June 14th. I really hope by then I’ll be able to start physio again.. That is if I dont keep getting caught up in the wires of the tens haha!

Have you used a Tens before? Did it help?

 

Steroid Injection Countdown

After finally getting a pain management referral late last year I met my consultant who was amazing and completely understood everything I said, after being ignored and doubted so much over the year’s this was a huge relief!

Steroid Injection

Steroid Injections

The consultant decided steroid injections may help so I am booked in for 8th March for 3 steroid injections. I’m beginning to feel extremely nervous the closer the appointment gets if I am honest. I’ve decided to call the night before and request to be put to sleep. I had a huge needle phobia growing up but obviously us mum’s get jabbed quite a bit when we have babies so I quickly learnt not to fear the needle so much. However.. the thought of the size of these needles has put the fear back in me!

I am so afraid I will jump when the needles go in and cause problems by doing so. I would much rather be asleep so they can be done carefully and properly without me being a wimp and jumping all over the place. You’d think I’d be able to deal with the pain of a needle considering I am pretty much in pain 24/7. I guess it is a different type of pain which is why I don’t deal with it so well.

The other thing that worries me is that it isn’t just one injection, I’m booked in for three! I will be having a Lumbar epidural steroid injection and bilateral sacroiliac injections. After this my consultant will see how the injections affect me and go from there.

I’d love to hear from other spoonies/chronic pain sufferer’s about their experiences with steroid injections. If you have had these done please get in touch 🙂 If you have a post about them feel free to send me a link too!

Turning down days into up days

This week hasn’t been too great If I’m honest. So I’ve been find ways of turning down days into up days. My pain levels have been high & I keep losing my balance. I’m trying my best to stay positive and just rest but sometimes it’s difficult as I explained here.

I guess there are always going to be bad day’s & I just need to fill those days doing something easy and simple to stop focusing on the pain. So I decided to do just that and busy myself with something & ended up finishing off knitting Izzy’s red scarf I started before Christmas & forgot to pick back up again.

turning down days into up days

I finished off the scarf quite quickly and decided to make a start on learning how to crochet using this Youtube video. The first thing I decided to try crocheting was a simple flower. At first it looked complicated & I thought Id never get the hang of it! Admittedly Izzy hopping on and off my lap didn’t help much at first but I managed to make my first crocheted flower.

I was quite impressed with how it turned out although a little annoyed I had obviously made 1 too many links on one of the petals so it was slightly larger than the others and a bit wonky.. But hey it was my first try 😀

After that I felt quite confident I could make another without a video & managed to produce this second crocheted flower.

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I was much happier with this one and carried on making a few more..

Eva loved the flowers & asked me to make her a headband with a flower on. ( Just happened to be the wonkiest one!) So I gave it a go and this is how it turned out..

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Eva loved it and tried it on straight away and wore it for the rest of the evening 😀

I’m quite pleased with how it turned out even if Eva did choose the wonkiest flower I’ve made (haha).  I have really enjoyed learning too, I’m going to make Izzy a headband next and I want to learn to crochet hearts next too.

Do you crochet? Do you find it a calming hobby too? If you have any patterns or tutorials to share send me a link & I will check them out 🙂

10 Things I’m Looking Forward To In 2016

10 Things I'm Looking Forward To In 2016

10 Things I’m Looking Forward To In 2016.. A whole new year to look forward to! I usually don’t have too much to look forward to as we enter each new year however so far 2016 seems to have a few things in store for us which I can not wait for. So here are My 10 things I’m looking forward to this year.

  1. Steroid injections in March I know it’s strange to look forward to a procedure like this but especially as the pain is creeping back again I’m hopeful they will help ease even a tiny bit of the pain to allow me to continue strengthening my core.
  2. The Easter holidays – Although we don’t particularly celebrate Easter as we aren’t religious in any way we do love to scoff a few choccy eggs! (Don’t we all!?) The holiday itself is a nice break for us and a chance to do things as a family. Things are looking slightly better financially so we are hoping to fit in a trip to London during the Easter hol’s to visit the science museum and anywhere else that takes the girl’s fancy. We haven’t had a chance to get out and do much with the girls & I intend on changing that this year!
  3. Eva’s 6th Birthday (10th May) – The last few years the majority of people have let Eva down on her birthday so last year we decided against a party. This year however I’ve decided we are going to do something different & take her & her friend out for the day to the zoo. If we have our own car by then it will probably be Colchester zoo otherwise we can all take the train & visit London zoo instead! ( 😀 I Love it when I have a back up plan!)
  4. The summer holidays (June-Sept) – Who doesn’t love it when the sun is shine and that alone is a perfect excuse to go out & enjoy it. I hurt so much when it’s cold it makes it hard for me to feel motivated enough to take the girls out much but in the summer I always make up for it.
  5. August – It’s part of the summer holidays but I love it for other reasons too! My brother turns 21 on the 5th, Izzy turns 2 on the 6th, and I turn 20… (6 D: ) on the 14th. It’s a big one for my brother this year and I fully intend on making sure he damn well enjoys it!
  6. Spending more time with my brother – In the last 2 weeks we have seen him 4 times, usually we see him maybe once every 2-3 months as he hides away when he is struggling but he seems to be realising now he can come to us no matter what & we will help in any way we can even if he just needs to be around people and chat nonsense 🙂
  7. Figuring out how to make pretty knitted & crocheted items – I’ve been knitting a few years now but never had the confidence to do anything other than a plain knitted blanket or scarf, this year I want to focus on my knitting a bit more & learn to crochet properly. (If you have any tutorials/patterns etc please Get in touch :D)
  8. Growing the blog – Getting back into blogging again has already helped me loads & it makes me really happy to see my followers growing and people actually reading my rambles. It makes me even happier when people like & comment too. I’m really enjoying blogging again & cant wait to see what progress I can make in 2016 & look forward to connecting with other bloggers too.
  9. Working with brands – I love product reviewing and testing all sorts of stuff from technology to food, toys to appliances, there’s very little I wouldn’t mind reviewing if I’m honest & after testing a Cake for Baker Day’s it’s reminded me just how much I loved doing this on my last blog.
  10. Learning to manage my pain – I am now under a pain management consultant who really seemed to listen on my first visit & has explained so much to me that although I still feel a little lost with it all after  we now have a plan in place to help me manage the pain and build my core strength back up. The plan so far is that I will see  my consultant every 8 weeks or so with steroid injections & physiotherapy alongside it and once I am able to manage the pain better I can work harder on building up my strength, in the meantime though I just need to keep active but not push myself so hard and actually rest when I need to.. easier said than done admittedly with 2 young children but I am at least trying to slow down!

So that’s my list (I love lists!) of 10 things I’m looking forward to this year, what are yours?

Seeing in the New Year

seeing in the new year

Happy new year to all my readers, I hope you all had an amazing night seeing in the new year and I cant wait to have a nose through some posts to see what you all got up to! I did write a Christmas – New Year post thinking I wouldn’t find the time to squeeze in a proper new year post but I’ve had a bit more free time today so decided to share with you all how we saw in the new year.

Originally we were meant to have a few people over for drinks to celebrate the new year but the Mr decided against it. Surprisingly not even an hour after the decision was made to just spend New years indoors together I got a phone call from my brother in a bad mood & skint but desperate to come see us and see new years in with us. I guess it was one of those strange things where plans fail for a reason.

Its been almost 10 years since I’ve seen the new year in with my brother as he was in care most years or hospital and I was either in a refuge or unable to get to him or help him get to me so the idea of spending new years eve with him at last made me ridiculously happy.

My brother explained his situation and between the Mr and I we had a plan & thanks to c2c running late trains especially for the new years eve celebrations it all fell into place nicely.

My brother hates asking for help, I’m very aware that I am one of the few people he dares to ask for help from but still feels awkward doing so, the Mr and I try to remind him every time we see him that he is family regardless & if he needs something he only has to shout.

I was seriously proud he finally plucked up the courage to call me, we instantly transferred some money into his account so he could jump on the train & when he got here he told us what had put him in a bad mood and we all talked it over and by the end he was laughing and smiling like crazy drinking rum with us & eventually after a bit of persuading he let us buy a takeaway for us all.

As midnight got closer we put the BBC countdown on opened our curtains to watch the fireworks out the window. The advantage of living 11 floors up and looking out towards London is that we can see fireworks for miles on a clear night. My brother & I were really impressed that the fireworks display in London we were watching on the TV we could see out from the window here in Thurrock!!

We saw the new year in together again at last & it honestly made my night spending it with the two guys I love the most, my Mr & my brother.

After spending Christmas eve with my brother too I think he has now realised we mean everything we say, he is always welcome here, if he needs anything or wants to see us he only has to say and we will arrange something, we may have missed a lot of years out but he is and always will be my baby brother and no matter what I will always be there for him & I think he is gradually seeing that.

Seeing in the New Year this way has left me feeling very positive for 2016 knowing my brother will come to us when he needs to & he is slowly getting used to being part of a family again. Family life itself is going much better recently too now that I have signed off and not stressing myself out constantly trying to find a job when I’m struggling to walk to my corner shop. Now I have a pain management consultant things are looking up slightly with regards to my health, someone is listening at last and willing to try and help me instead of fobbing me off with tablets that give off awful side effects.

The blog, thanks to all you lovely readers has got off to a much better start than I had expected & I’m really looking forward to putting a lot more time & effort into the blog. With my last blog I tried to stick to only one or two topics which of course made it much harder to come up with content, this time I’m just doing what I want when I want & it seems to be going much better although admittedly I do need to plan and organize my time better to get where I want to be this time next year. I’ve been chatting to a few lovely bloggers over the last month or so too which has been lovely where I struggle to socialize in person & I’m hoping I can get the courage up to say hi to a few more bloggers too.

2015 wasn’t an overly great or an overly awful year for us but I’m hoping 2016 will be much better & hopefully we can even squeeze in a family holiday somewhere as our only family holiday was almost 5 years ago whilst Eva was still small.

I’m hoping to learn more about knitting & crocheting this year too as I find it so Calming and helpful with my Anxiety and Depression.

How did you celebrate the new year? What are your hopes/goals for 2016? Have a similar post you would like to share with me? Drop me a comment or Get in touch!

 

 

Calming Hobbies For Anxiety

I’m focusing on calmig hobbies after I wrote about anxiety last week and how I’ve really been struggling. It is really affecting me, along with depression mostly because I suffer from chronic pain.

Calming Hobbies For Anxiety

I asked readers for tips to help me feel less anxious constantly. One tip I recieved was to write down every thing I want to get off my chest at night and the other was to find a hobby to keep my mind focused.

I have managed to pick up the yarn I needed to finish my knitting project and half way through knitting a scarf too. I have been making an effort to knit a few rows every few hours.

CBD Oil

While not a hobby, per se, since we’re on the topic of anxiety, I felt like CBD was worth a mention as something that you could take alongside doing these hobbies to give you a little extra help, since CBD Oil can also be extremely helpful for anxiety, among other things. There are so many companies that sell a variety of products containing CBD oil including gummies, creams, and capsules, such as Blessed CBD. Having tried them myself I can safely say they do provide some health benefits, however dosage may need playing around with to find the perfect dose for you and your individual needs

Writing And Knitting

Every night on my notes I write down everything that has been frustrating me. Knitting, along with writing whats on my mind each night, does feel like its helping. As I write, it feels like a weight is being lifted. With knitting, I think about less and less with every stitch focusing only on the next stitch.

I noticed a lot of my writing each night is about how my pain has limited me throughout the day. It makes me feel useless as I tend to end up sat on the sofa, trying to focus on not moaning too much. However, over the last day or so, I’ve been focusing on my knitting whenever I’m on the sofa. Doing this, I at least feel like I am achieving something, watching my projects grow.

Coping Better

My pain levels have escalated throughout the day but im still feeling positive. I havent had an attack in a few days now and I feel a bit more positive in general so I’m going to keep up the writing and knitting and once Ive finished Izzy’s blanket and scarf I plan to attempt learning crochet!

calming hobbies
Almost complete!

Thank you for the tips and keep them coming in if anyone has any others 🙂

Do you craft? Feel free to link up your makes, I love seeing what other people have created!

Chronic pain at 25

Part of the reason I decided to begin blogging again is also part of the reason I stopped blogging before. I am a Chronic pain sufferer and have been for over 5 years now. I struggled to get the help I needed when it first began which caused me to become extremely depressed and anxious.

Shutting Down

I shut off from a lot of my friends and closed my blog and deleted all trace of it as I was fed up of ‘moaning’ about the pain constantly. I’ve recently realised that sometimes to cope with chronic pain you need an outlet where you can vent and moan so you can clear your mind and take control again.

Keeping Track

As I’ve come to realise this I’ve decided I’m going to document what goes on with my various appointments, to help me keep track, vent & moan on bad days and make others aware of how chronic pain affects lives, and hopefully find other’s who have learnt coping techniques and to hear their story too. If you’ve got this far then here is my story.

Lower Back Pain

Since my pregnancy with my eldest daughter in 2010 I have had excruciating lower back pain. It all began with struggling to climb the stairs in our first flat whilst pregnant, I’d struggle so much I’d be in tears. I thought at the time it was just typical pregnancy pains until it continued about 6months after my eldest was born.

X-Ray Results

I eventually got to a point where everyone was telling me I had to go to the DR’s and find out what was going on. Eventually, I did and an x-ray showed I had scoliosis of the lumbar spine and low disc space in L4-L5. My GP referred me to physiotherapy which wasn’t helping and due to unfortunate circumstances at the time I became unable to afford the fare to get to my physiotherapy sessions and gave up trying to seek help.

Chronic Pain

After a few years of struggling with the pain and trying to manage it with over the counter medicines, I got much worse especially a few months after the birth of my youngest daughter. Over time it got to the point where I could barely pick her up, so I went to my local GP to try and get some help.

Physiotherapy, Again

Again I was referred to physiotherapy which didn’t go well at all. After the first session, I hurt for almost 2 weeks! By the third session, I was barely able to walk for the next 3 weeks. I went back to my GP and explained the pain was worse and explained how it travels down my leg and at times I can’t walk or move my legs, attempting to lift my youngest up gives me extremely painful spasms, all of it combined is exhausting and depressing and on top of it all on really bad days I’m extremely nauseous too.

Medication

I was prescribed Amitriptyline, Duloxetine, Naproxen and Co-dydramol to try and help manage the pain & the depression. I was surprised to find out that some anti-depressants are also used for nerve related pain but after doing a bit of research discovered they are quite regularly prescribed for this reason. Unfortunately, the medication does very little but I am at least able to sleep a bit better on the Amitriptyline which is some relief.

Another X-Ray

I was sent for more x-rays which showed lordosis of the thoracic spine which shows signs of muscle spasms. This indicates its likely to be a nerve problem which it seems my GP must have worked out as she prescribed the amitriptyline from the start. When I attended my last physiotherapy session the physio decided it was best to release me and refer me to pain management as he said it was clear the exercises had aggravated the situation and he didn’t want to hurt me more and he made me a referral marked as ‘urgent’.

Pain Clinic

I now have to wait until the 14th December for my pain clinic appointment, which after seeing the waiting times at some hospitals I’m quite lucky I got an appointment this year. I’m hopeful I can find ways to manage the pain and remain as active as possible with their help as being stuck indoors most of the time and unable to enjoy simple things without suffering for it has had a major impact on my mental health and my family.

Reaching Out

I’m hoping to connect to other Chronic pain sufferers by sharing my story here and keeping track of my progress. If you read all of this post then, Thank you for taking the time to do so and please feel free to contact me in any way if you want to share your story or just a chat.